


Communication

by Syreene



Series: Doctors Make the Worst Patients [4]
Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Doctor Who Feels, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-24
Updated: 2014-01-24
Packaged: 2018-01-09 20:17:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1150350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Syreene/pseuds/Syreene
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Martha seeks the TARDIS's help in communicating with the Doctor...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Communication

Ever since returning to the Doctor and the TARDIS, Martha had been spending her free time in the med bay that the TARDIS had kindly made for her. She lay comfortably on one of the beds, her folded leg propped up on her other one and holding up the large book the Doctor had given her.

Collective intelligence phenomenon: "Gallifreyan communities have the capacity to evolve towards higher order complexity and harmony, through such innovative mechanisms as telepathic communication, differentiation and integration, competition and collaboration."

Telepathy, from the Greek τῆλε, tele meaning "remote" and πάθεια, patheia meaning "to be affected by", is a term used to describe the transfer of information on thoughts or feelings between individuals by means other than the five classical senses.

I’ve seen the Doctor use his telepathic abilities before…he used them on Peter the architect to reach him through his madness.

Martha closed the book and laid it on her chest, her arms wrapped around it as she nibbled on her thumbnail in thought. 

What must it have been like…when your entire race was telepathic? I know how weird it felt when I first went to college, and my family wasn’t constantly around me anymore. I felt lost…alone... 

Martha shuddered at the thought of that feeling being a million times worse. 

How must it feel? Being used to all those voices constantly being around you…always feeling their touch…then all of a sudden, nothing, no one, emptiness and loneliness. No wonder it seems like he has a death wish sometimes. Martha looked up at the ceiling of the TARDIS as if directing her thoughts toward the ship. You have telepathic abilities, don’t you? You help us Companions, letting us understand and read alien languages, and you talk to the Doctor all the time, don’t you?

The lights in the med bay glowed in warmth, and the machines hummed happily as if in answer.

If you can communicate to him…and you can affect me telepathically…then couldn’t you…connect us together? Could we speak telepathically through you?

The happy hum continued and Martha took it as an affirmative.

Okay…now I’ve just got to figure out how to ask him.

Martha grinned at the TARDIS as she got off the bed and put her book safely away. “You’re fantastic, you are.” She patted the wall fondly as she left the room.

The Doctor was in one of his usual places when Martha walked into the console room, this time under it tinkering. Martha sat cross-legged by his feet, her elbow in her lap and chin in her hand.

“What seems to be the problem, Doctor?” The Doctor asked as he pulled some old cloth wires out from the console in disgust.

“Oi, there you go taking my lines again,” she said with a laugh as she thumped his foot playfully.

“I’m just updating some seriously old wiring, Martha. You, on the other hand, seem to have something on your mind. So…” he scooted out from under the console and winked at her, “What’s up, Doc?”

Martha chuckled. “You’ve been saving that one up, haven’t you?”

“I confess…It’s nice not to be on the receiving end of that line for once.” The Doctor said with chagrin. “Peri used to use that line on me all the time.” The Doctor raised himself on one elbow and looked at Martha. “Seriously, though…you need to ask me something?”

“I was wondering,” Martha began. “You know how when we’d go out venturing, sometimes we’d get separated or need a way to convey a plan to each other quietly?”

“Y-e-e-s-s-s…” the Doctor said, encouraging her to continue.

“And the TARDIS creates a telepathic field that helps me and that you communicate with?”

“Go on…” he smiled.

“Well, couldn’t the TARDIS help us so that we could communicate telepathically?” Martha bit her lip after finally getting her question out…anxiously awaiting his answer.

The Doctor closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

“Doctor?”

“Sorry…I was just…I’ve missed this.” The Doctor opened his eyes and grinned. 

“Yeah…me too,” Martha grinned. “My question, Doctor?”

“Yes…well…technically I guess we could,” replied the Doctor as he looked up and rubbed his nose in thought. “No one’s ever asked me that before, actually.”

Martha beamed as she reached out and brushed the dirt off his nose. 

“All right…” said the Doctor as he threw down two pillows and sat down cross-legged on the rug in the library, a crackling fire in the fireplace radiating warmth behind him. He patted the pillow in front of him and nodded to Martha. “Come on now…might as well get comfy if we’re going to try this.”

Martha sat down across from him on the pillow, her excitement apparent on her face. “Rightio, what do I need to do?”

A laugh escaped the Doctor’s lips as he rubbed his hands together. “You’re going to need to relax, first.”

Martha closed her eyes and took a deep breath slowly, in through her nose, out through her mouth. When she finished she opened her eyes and looked much calmer.

“Okay…I’m going to establish a connection, because I want you to get used to how it feels. Whenever you communicate telepathically, if there’s any memory or thought you don’t want exposed you just need to think of a door. You close the door; you close the access to it.”

“Reminds me of the lucid dreaming I’ve been doing since I was a kid,” Martha confessed. “I used to have these horrible dreams until my Dad taught me how to put them in a book. If I didn’t like a dream, I could tear it out…and if I did, I could bookmark it for later.” 

“Kinda like that,” the Doctor agreed as he rested his fingers against her temple. “Oi, there’s a thought…what do you do if you don’t have a bookmark for your psyche? Dog-ear it? There’d be bent memories all over the place…”

Martha failed to stifle a giggle and quickly tried to compose herself. Suddenly she felt a nudge in her mind, a soft brushing of mental fingers on her psyche.  
“Hello there…” The Doctor muttered as he concentrated.

Doctor? 

Right here, Martha. Blimey…I think someone’s watched Monsters Inc. too many times…

Martha spun around to see that they were now in what looked like the factory floor from the Pixar movie, Monsters Inc. She was standing next to a console with a large lever, and hooks in the floor looked like they were ready to receive a door. Oh gods, Tish…this is all your fault for making me watch this movie so many times…! Martha smacked her forehead in embarrassment. 

I don’t know…it’s a rather interesting way to do it, I thought. Definitely saves you from having to walk up and down all those endless hallways…The Doctor strolled up and down the factory floor, his hands in his pockets as he examined the place. He walked up to the console Martha was standing next to and gave her a grin. Shall we see what your subconscious brings us? 

Unable to restrain her doctor’s curiosity, Martha nodded with a smile.

Alrighty…pick a number! The Doctor thought as he quickly ran his hands over the buttons.

Um…42? It is the answer to everything,’ innit? Martha laughed as she stuffed her hands in her jean pockets, gazing at the hole in the wall where the door would come out. 

With a pull of the switch by the Doctor, noises were heard as the gears started shifting inside the factory. After a few minutes there was a clicking noise like the chain of a roller coaster, and then a door came into view. It was a large dull grey metal door, with a porthole at eye level.

Martha tried to remember where she knew this door from, when it lowered into place and the Doctor walked up to it in silence. As he reached out a trembling hand, she could swear she heard him whisper…”I’ll save you.”

Martha walked around to the other side of the door, and noticed there was a handle on this side as well. As she touched the handle, her mind reeled with the agonized screams of the Doctor over and over. ”I’ll save you!” he had exclaimed. Was that what he was saying to me? Do I really matter that much to him?

On the opposite side, the Doctor was experiencing a similar revelation…but he was hearing Martha’s gentle reassurances to Riley, her scared voice telling him how much she believed and trusted the Doctor, even though she barely knew him and he never told her anything about himself. There she was…plunging to her death because of me…placing all her trust in me…again…and all she ever wanted was to know me. By Rassilon, I’ve become such a selfish prat in my old age. Rude and selfish…but still not ginger.

Martha opened her eyes to see the Doctor sitting across from her in the library. His hands were still at her temples, but he was looking at her now, slightly sad. “What just happened?”

The Doctor lowered his hands gently from her face, his right hand cupping her cheek softly before he dropped his hands into his lap. He sighed before he started to explain, “Doors open both ways, Martha. When we both touched the door of the S.S. Pentallion, on one side was your memories of the experience…and…”

“On the other was yours.” Martha finished. “I’m sorry…I didn’t mean to…I didn’t want to…” Martha bit her bottom lip. “Did you really say that?”

The Doctor held her hands in his and stroked them with his thumbs. “Undeniably, and rather loudly I thought,” he said with a half-hearted grin. “I’ve got to say, Martha Jones M.D., watching you drift away like that made me feel something I hadn’t felt in quite a while.”

“What was that?” Martha asked gently.

“Doubt.” He looked up at Martha and she could see the sadness in his eyes. “Watching you fall out of reach with those creatures loose on the ship…for that moment, I honestly didn’t know what I was going to do, and it scared me to no end.”

“But you came through for us all, didn’t you?” Martha reassured him. 

“Only to almost kill you all myself,” he muttered darkly as he tried to remove his hands from hers.

“But you didn’t,” Martha reiterated strongly as she refused to let his hands go. “You risked your life, again I might add because you do do that a lot, which I will save for another conversation, and you ended up saving us all.”

“I wasn’t too worried…I had my doctor with me, after all.” He did his best to reassure her with a smile.

Martha looked at him for a moment before she smiled and said “You are such a liar…sweet, but a liar nonetheless.” 

“Moi?” The Doctor asked in mock offense as he placed a hand to his chest. “I’m shocked, Doctor Jones, that you would come up with such a diagnosis.”

“Ri-i-i-ght,” Martha drawled with a grin. “We’ll get back to that later, and don’t think I won’t…but for now, can we get back to the matter at hand?”

The Doctor grinned honestly and rubbed his hands on his pants before he placed them up to her temple again. “And Allons-y…”

 

This time when they connected, Martha turned around to see that they were standing at the bottom floor of a large circular tower. As she looked around she could see that each floor held a vast number of doors, and when she looked up she saw...13 floors?

"I guess you're not a superstitious sort," Martha said to herself.

"Not in this life, anyway," The Doctor agreed with her as he leaned over her shoulder.

" **This** life...Martha muttered then turned around and pointed a finger into the middle of his chest. ”When we were on the S.S. Pentallion, you told me that Time Lords 'did something' when they died. What did you mean?"

"When a Time Lord dies, their bodies undergo massive regeneration at a cellular level. We regenerate into completely new bodies with new personalities...but the memories remain." The Doctor could see the looks of surprise, amazement and then comprehension cross Martha's face. "Didn't get that far into the book yet, yeah?"

"No...but I'm going to next chance I get!" Martha replied enthusiastically. 

"Chapter 23," The Doctor offered helpfully.

"Thank you," Martha said distractedly as she looked around the tower. "13 floors...so does that mean you've lived 13 lives?"

"Only 10 so far, actually," The Doctor replied as he stuck his hands in his pockets and rocked back and forth on his heels. "Those last 3 floors up there haven't been filled yet. Goodness knows though Martha, without you I'd probably be up to..." he started to count on his fingers.

"16, at least." 

"Nah...couldn't be," The Doctor replied in disbelief. Martha merely stared at him with a raised brow and her hands on her hips. "I was going to say 22, actually..." he muttered in admission as he ran his hand through his hair, random spikes left in its wake.

"Amazing..." Martha said in awe. 

"I thought so too, because I mean...I've never been this careless with my life before, have I?" The Doctor replied before he realized Martha was already walking towards one of the doors.

 

“So this floor…is this your first life?” Martha asked as she walked up to a wooden blue door that looked like it belonged to the TARDIS…though it was in much better condition. As she reached up to touch it, the Doctor gently took her hand.

“Yeah…but I was a crotchety old fart back then…you don’t want to see that.” Martha looked at him pleadingly, and he smiled gently. “Someday…just…not yet.”

Understanding yet slightly disappointed, Martha dropped her hand. “So…is there a door we can open?”

“In fact, there’s a particular door that I think I should show you. It’s one of my favorites...” he reached up to caress her cheek. “Considering all you’ve done for me and the Earth, Martha Jones, I figure it’s the least I could do to show my appreciation.” 

Martha’s breath caught in her throat as he led her by the hand to an intricately designed door with swirling carvings framing it from top to bottom. “Is this…”

“Gallifrey,” he answered in a whisper. He cleared his throat before he continued. “Only way I can show it to you now…”

Hands crammed in his pants pockets, the Doctor was unable to bring himself to touch the door. He nodded at Martha, giving her the go-ahead to open it.

She reached out slowly as she swallowed hard, and when her hand touched the door it swung gently open to a scene that took her breath away. 

“Go ahead…” he said softly into her ear as he nudged her with his hip. “It’s okay.”

Martha stepped out carefully through the door, her feet sinking into the soft red grass of the Doctor’s home planet. 

“Oh my God,” she whispered as her hand flew to her mouth. 

It was nighttime in the Doctor’s memory…the skies turned a burnt orange. High in the sky what Martha assumed was the moon shone down, its copper hues turning the cool silver leaves of the trees into a warm gold. In the distance a mountain could be seen capped with snow.

“Pazithi Gallifreya…the Virgin Moon Goddess,” the Doctor replied to her unspoken question as he nodded at the moon, its light reflecting in the tears welling up in his eyes. 

Martha stretched her other hand behind her, blindly reaching for the Doctors as she couldn’t turn away from the sight that she’d been longing to see ever since she met him. The Doctor quickly wiped his tears away with the back of his hand and took a deep breath before he stepped out into his memories of home, his hand slipping comfortably into Martha’s. 

“Come on…you’ll want to see this.” The Doctor said as he continued forward through a grove of trees, gently tugging on her hand.

As they broke through the grove of silver trees they came out upon the side of a softly sloping hill covered in what looked like daisies to Martha. The Doctor looked around him, sniffed, and then turned to her. “This should do it.” He took off his coat and laid it gentlemanly upon the grass, motioning for Martha to have a seat. 

Eagerly anticipating what the Doctor had to show her, she sat down cross legged on his coat and looked up at him eagerly. Her look turned to barely hidden surprise though when the Doctor sat down behind her, stretching out his long legs to either side of her. She straightened her legs but continued to sit up straight…so unsure of what to do when it came to the Doctor’s feelings. It wasn’t until she felt his arms reach around her waist and pull her closer that she sighed and leaned back into the Doctor’s arms, her head resting comfortably against his shoulder.

“What are we waiting for?” she asked quietly as she scanned the sky.

The Doctor looked and then pointed a little off to Martha’s left. “There they are…”

Martha’s eyes followed his outstretched finger and her eyes widened as she saw the meteor shower begin. The sky lit up with streaks of color as the meteors burned in the sky: deep purples, emerald greens and vivid yellows. Martha’s breath caught in her throat as tears welled in her eyes. “This is so beautiful…thank you so much…”

The Doctor didn’t reply…he just held her closer.

 

 

Martha lost track of time as she gazed at the shower of colors above her. Eventually they subsided, and her thoughts turned inward again. She looked down at the Doctor’s arms around her waist, sighed, and began to speak.

“I was reading about your people this morning…trying to think of what it must have been like; never being alone…always feeling their touch in your mind…how much it must hurt now that they aren’t there.” 

Martha could feel the Doctor’s hands clench around her as he sighed sadly. She gnawed her bottom lip with her teeth before she continued. “I guess…that’s why I came up with my idea this morning. While I also thought it could be really helpful in our travels…I really just wanted to help **you**. I know I can’t make up for an entire race or anything…but I thought maybe…you could use the company?” Afraid that if she didn’t get it all out now she’d never say it, the rest of Martha’s intentions came pouring out. “I know I’m not a Time Lord or anything…but I’d be willing to share what I’ve got…” 

Martha heard a soft chuckle from behind her, so she turned around the best she could to see his face. The Doctor was wiping the tears from his eyes the best he could as he smiled at Martha. “You’re never going to let me catch up with you…are you?” Martha’s confusion was apparent to the Doctor, so he gently turned her around to face him. He cupped her cheeks in his hands as he continued, “Martha Jones… _Doctor_ Martha Jones…I’ve been taking you all over creation in an attempt to impress you, but with a simple selfless action you’ve once again showed me what a fool I’ve been.”

“What? No…Doctor, I…”

“Ssh…it’s okay, Martha…it’s more than okay.” The Doctor reassured her. “I brought you here because I finally realized what’s been staring me in the face. You are a star, Martha Jones. You are brilliant, strong, brave, compassionate beyond belief, and I am so lucky to have met you. I tried to pull the pompous Time Lord act, but you saw through it from the very start…even if I refused to.” A tear fell down Martha’s cheek and he rubbed it away with his thumb before he continued with a sigh, “I’m tired of lying, Martha. I’ve done it to so many people for so long…myself included…but I think I’m done. It’s not going to be easy…and I’ve got quite a lot to come to terms with…” his hands slipped down into hers as he gazed around his memories of home, “…but this…here…this is me, and for better or worse, I wanted to give that to you. I figure it’s a good start at least…”

Martha was struck speechless…tears of joy sliding down her cheeks unchecked as her face broke into a grin. Suddenly the Doctor found himself lying on his back in the field of flowers as Martha leaned over him. “’Bout time, stranger…” 

She leaned down farther and brushed her lips against his in invitation. The Doctor reached his hands up into her hair to cup her head, and Martha tilted her head slightly to deepen the kiss. He moaned against her lips and properly encouraged she ran the tip of her tongue against his lips, seeking to taste him deeper. His lips parted and dueled briefly with hers before he rolled her over onto her back.

“Martha…” he said hoarsely as he pulled away from her kiss to look at her. “I want to touch you for real.” 

 

The Doctor opened his eyes, breaking the psychic link between them. He watched Martha’s eyes flicker as she became familiar with her surroundings, and lick her lips as she glanced at him. He groaned her name as his hands slipped from her temples into her hair and pulled her lips to his as he rose up to his knees. Her arms stretched up over his shoulders and he could feel her fingers run through his already messy hair as he continued the kiss that they shared in his psyche. 

Martha slanted her head to his and captured his bottom lip gently between her teeth. She sucked gently on it as she ran her fingers through his hair at the back of his neck, and earned a moan of pleasure from the Doctor. He stretched out his arm while his other held Martha safely to him and leaned her gently back onto the pillows they had set next to the fireplace. He released her lips reluctantly and stretched out beside her next to the fire, his head propped up by his hand. 

“I’ve been wanting to do this ever since we saw the two suns rise on Trathos,” he said quietly as his other hand caressed her cheek and slipped slowly down her body, his cool fingers leaving trails of sensation on Martha’s heated body. “The way the sun reflected off your skin…” his fingers stroked the skin of her stomach revealed by her tank top, “the way you smiled at me…I…” he looked up into Martha’s eyes, and she wished so hard that she could believe the emotions she saw in them. 

She reached up and cupped his cheek in her hand, letting all of her love for him shine in her eyes. Why won’t you say it? Why are you so afraid?

The Doctor’s eyes widened a fraction as he looked up, his hand stilling on her stomach as Martha’s words touched his mind. The TARDIS… 

He looked back down at her and swallowed hard. I’m scared, Martha. Whenever I care more than I should about my Companions, it frightens me. I’ve lost so much... he grabbed her hand and brushed his lips against her palm. Will I continue to make the right decisions? Will I be too afraid to lose you that I won’t be able to let you go to do what needs to be done? What if I can’t keep you safe? 

What if you can? Martha smiled. That scares you too, doesn’t it?

He half-grinned with a sad look in his eyes. Perceptive as always, Martha. I care for you immensely…but no matter what happens in the future I won’t be able to provide what normal human relationships require. I won’t settle down in one place, I’m…

Maybe ‘perceptive Martha’ realized quite a while ago that she wasn’t going to get a human relationship with a Time Lord? Her brow raised as she smiled. And all those ‘what ifs’ you can just toss into the Vortex, ‘kay? Whatever is going to happen, happens…and I would much rather enjoy every second of my life that I spend with you then wonder ‘what if’ for the rest of it without you. She raised herself up on her elbow to look the Doctor in the eyes. Stop worrying about what could happen in the future…or what happened in the past…and just be here…with me…now.

The Doctor rested his forehead against hers as he closed his eyes and sighed. I’ll try, Martha.

Martha leaned forward slightly and kissed the Doctor gently. That’s all I ever wanted. 

The Doctor laid his head down on the pillows by the fire and stretched out so that Martha could lay beside him, her head laying on his chest as she wrapped her arms around him. He watched the fire’s reflection flicker across Martha’s dark skin as his fingers traced patterns idly up and down her back. 

The TARDIS hummed happily into the night and the Doctor couldn’t help but smile.


End file.
